Death!

Use your work to feed your soul — Irrfan

Would it be the end of me when I die? Wouldn’t that be weird? I did not exist. Then I exist. Then I again do not exit. I think I would exist even after I die. There is too much work I have done on myself, for it would be wiped out in a moment.

I wonder though! I don’t get scared by death much. A life in misery scares me much more than death. But Irrfan’s death did shock me to the core. I did not expect it at all. And it got me thinking. This life, this body, this world is so fragile. It can break away any time, whether you do something wrong or not. I have never understood the permanence of the soul this way before.

Does my life feed my soul or does it just feed my body? Are my fears the fear of a soul? What would I take away from this life? What am I feeding my soul? For me, the answer is to be honest to my work. To my being. To not look for shortcuts or sell-out. To prove worthy of my mentors. People who have written books for me, created courses for me, discussed my issues so much in depth. I want to be honest and be worthy.

I think it’s my soul that has guided me through the random meanderings of life. Of who to follow and who not to. How to be honest and truthful. I don’t know whether Resistance affects the soul also. I think it is a bodily phenomenon. It is a curse that the soul has to carry in order to have a body. But as a soul grows, it understands how to overcome Resistance and do the deeds for which it rented the body.

I feel nothing but love for Irrfan and it feels to me as someone very close to me has gone. I can see him again. At his best. Acting in numerous wonderful movies. And I will see him again. I am sure of that.

I wish I can use my work to feed my soul, as Irrfan did all through his life.